When the Bough Breaks: A Reflection

Background:
I just finished attending an extra credit lecture for my Foundations in Medicine course in which we had a discussion based on the viewing of Unnatural Causes...is Inequality Making us Sick? - Episode 2:When the Boughs Break. The documentary explores the phenomenon of African American women at every socioeconomic level having higher rates of pre-term birth and infant mortality than white women who haven't even finished high school or Black immigrants. The basic findings were that it's not genetic and not socioeconomic (in fact, being a higher educated Black woman increased your risk instead of lowering it). The general idea discussed is that birth outcomes are affected by the negative impact of racism over a lifespan and that racism in America is an added source of stress for people of color, leading to poorer health outcomes. That's the basic synopsis. I'd highly recommend watching the documentary if you can get your hands on it. It was an eye-opener for many of my classmates.

Reflection:
I learned about the study discussed during the video this summer in one of my public health courses (Social & Behavior Aspects of Global Health). At the time, the study was briefly touched upon, highlighting the possibility that operating under a lifelong level of elevated stress hormones is detrimental to overall health. However, the course did not nearly go into as much detail as this film. I was literally holding back tears at certain points during the film, telling myself, “this can’t be life.” Nothing stated here struck me as new – I’ve always been one of few (if not the only) Blacks in a given environment (exception being college). As such, I have been aware of my race every day of my life since I can remember, and have had many struggles and obstacles because of it. However, something about this film really struck a nerve in me.

Perhaps it is that I am older and have more life experience and feel that I have fought to carve out a good future for myself. Now I finally feel that I have full ownership of my life. It is frustrating to think that no matter what I do to shift things in my favor, certain things that I think I should have a significant handle on are out of my control. Furthermore, according to this film, by working to put myself in a high socioeconomic level will actually have adverse affects on my life. Coupled together, frustration, anger, and sadness abound within me.

I fully believe the Life Course Perspective, that the accumulation of this chronic life stressor of race is a determinant of health. Unless we were able to do away with racism and prejudices, I don’t really see that stressor going away. Therefore, I suppose it would be in my best interest to implement some coping mechanisms to deal with it, rather than to just sit back and accept it. Easier said than done. How do I take time and energy to calm myself down or cheer myself up sometimes multiple times a day when time is becoming an increasingly more precious commodity? As one of three Black students in my class, I am all too aware of my race every day. I play well with my peers and like most of them. But even the ones I am closest with from time to time slip up and say something offensive about other Black people, or interact with me based on assumptions about the few other Black people they’ve had close interactions with over their life spans, or just interact with me differently than they do others. I won’t even talk about the bad classmates… To be honest, being here has been a lonely experience – and one I don’t see improving over the course of my career. How does one stop ignorant comments and prejudiced actions of others? I have no problem fighting off verbal attacks, but how am I supposed to fight back against the subconscious physiological effects of these offenses?

As I sit and reflect on all the issues brought up in this film, and other underlying concerns triggered by this viewing, I am left with a series of unanswerable questions. So, what am I to do? Right now, I feel it best to stay on my course to become a physician who will work to help study and, hopefully eliminate, some ethnic health disparities. But, once again, I am left with a question that can’t be answered: what good will my future research be if it all boils down to the influence of a lifelong battle with racism yielding subconscious physiological consequences?

[aside: I am very happy I am pursuing the MPH degree - the MD is incomplete to developing a forward-thinking physician capable of making lasting societal change. These questions might not yet be answerable, but at least they're being asked, right?]

Worst Case Scenario

Not to harp on the Oil Spill, but I am living down in New Orleans as a public health student. I must say, it's a real honor and a privilege to be able to be studying in such a place as this in such a unique time in history, let alone to add to the mix that I'm a public health and medical student. It really is a hands-on, learning experience where everything we're learning in-class has real life applications just minutes away (and a few months into the future).

I completely stole this from a classmate's fb page I was stalking - lol. Sorry! But, I give credit where credit's due. Here's the link to the blog I "borrowed" it from.


o_O I'm a little terrified, not going to lie. Where is the solution? See, this is what we get for investing ridiculous sums of money into things like space exploration when there a trillions of things within our own planet we know limited information about. Ok, that might be a stretch, but still, I maintain that it's a valid point. Think about the ocean. Think of how vast it really is and how deep the deepest abyss really goes. Now think of how little we actually know about 70% of our terrestrial globe...yes, 70%! I don't know about you, but I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that perhaps if we knew more about what lies beneath the surface we could have developed better methods to tap its resources. That, and as I slowly "Go Green," I am opposed to our reliance on oil. It will eventually dry up and we have developed alternative methods that work fine, but the thing is, like any reliance, our oil addiction has made us lazy...too lazy to select alternatives that are not inherently as "easy" as oil usage has become to the modern world.

This is supposed to be a very bad hurricane system. It started on June 1st and runs all the way to November 30th. (aside: I really didn't know hurricane season was that long!). This is a good site to sum up the hurricane predictions for the year, but suffice it to say that roughly 27 or so hurricanes are expected to hit. As someone in a city that is still recovering from a hurricane from 5 years ago, I am afraid. I have no idea what to expect for any hurricane, let alone one that would literally rain oil on us...

Homesick :(

For the first time in life I have experienced home sickness. Despite going out with friends and trying to keep busy this past weekend, I really got home sick. I felt like the kid at camp who doesn't care what fun is being had all around her, all she wants to do is return to the comfort and normality of home. It's not that I don't love and appreciate New Orleans for the wonderfully unique city it is, but it's almost too unique. I feel shell shocked. I knew it'd be an adjustment coming down to the Deep South, but I truly felt that the urbanness of NOLA would mitigate the humdrum pace that is inherent to the South - WRONG.

Everyone's outlook on life is the antithesis of that experienced in the North. People don't see a point in rushing to do anything. And while I can appreciate their appreciation for enjoying life and people, and relaxing and taking it easy, they OD on it down here - I guess it's called The Big Easy for a reason :/ But seriously, punctuality is probably last on everyone's list down here, even my financial aid department who doesn't see a problem in not doing their job in a timely fashion so students can do things like pay rent, buy books and supplies, eat - you know, the basics. Ugh. It is frustrating! And I just look like a jerk everywhere I go because not only do I not go slow, I actively am still ticking on a Northern clock of urgency, and I really am lacking the patience necessary to handle those that don't seem in a rush to do anything. That's never been a part of who I am. Sure, I am of the opinion that we shouldn't take life too seriously, unless the situation absolutely mandates it, however I've also approached most things from the standpoint that I'll get what I need to get done first and then do what I want to do later. Makes complete logical sense to me. To these people, that notion is foreign. They do what they want and hope that eventually what needs to get worked out is somehow magically completed without complication...riiiight. Honestly, I don't think this constant heat, humidity (which is swiftly getting worse!), and enormous bugs aren't helping.

I got a little down about it all and actually started fighting logic and contemplated that maybe I made a BIG mistake choosing to spend the next four years of my life in New Orleans. Silly, I know...this is the school God has for me and I absolutely love the med school and it's opportunities, but still, logic often fails in the face of depression. And yes, I would say I've been depressed this weekend, despite hitting up some fun spots in this city (see below). I ever popped in Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and nearly teared when I started seeing all the Jersey and New York spots in the movie. I started getting nostalgic about this past year's adventures in Philly, Jersey, and New York and really started to miss all my loved ones I left behind. Then, I started to feel pathetic about being so down, but then I was speaking to a friend who's down here that feels the same way having moved from DC. Adjusting your mentality and entire perspective on life and your functioning is truly an exacerbating task, especially when you feel you're alone. I suppose the grass really is always greener on the other side, as I recall complaining about how I was ready to get up and leave the cold, congested, fast-paced North for a while - be careful what you wish for.

Mom came through in the clutch though. She reminded me of a few things. Yes, it'll be a big change, but I have to take into consideration that it is summer. There are a lot of students in the city who are away for vacation and this is part of the price I have to pay for trying to get a jump start on my dual degree. She also reminded me that as I get more acclimate to the city and become more involved, I'll start to form my own network down here. While I am blessed to have secured summer housing so easily and at such an affordable price, she reminded me that it's not like I chose to live with these roommates (good people, but it's not like we hang out), therefore it's not like I'm surrounded by my good friends, but really just strangers, which can be quite an adjustment when you go from spending everyday surrounded by friends and family. I love how my mom can so simply put things into perspective for me. We express our love for one another so much better when we're not living together. It's amazing!

So, I plan to stay busy with classes, exploring the city, and I should be starting research in a week or so. Between those activities and getting to know my classmates better I think I should have this bought of home sickness out of my system by July :) I live a few blocks down from Audubon Park, which is so breath-takingly beautiful it's hard to feel down while there. I try to go there as much as my schedule and the weather permits (it rains randomly daily). Wikipedia just informed me that the land used to be a plantation :/ Whatever, it's still gorgeous! I was sitting by a pond Saturday, watching everything from a water snake (maybe) to baby ducks to a cranes to a family of large turtles all enjoying nature. It truly made me feel carefree.

These are world famous Sno-Balls from Plum Street Snoball. When I got down here, everyone kept asking me if I'd had a New Orleans sno-ball yet, and I would just stare at them in niavete. After doing a little research, I found that this place and another place (Hansen's, which is right by me and next on my list) are easily the top two in the city. The way sno-balls were described to me were the ultimate Italian icey. False. The sno-ball I had was easily the most amazing, tantilizing frozen treat to touch my tongue in life. You can always rely on wiki for the low-down. Basically, it's shaved ice of a smoother consistency than slushies or iceys, with a ridiculous but perfect amount of flavoring poured into holes they dig into the ice. It really is perfect because it never gets to the point where you have unflavored ice left in your container (and I do mean container...depending on what size you order, you might be eating/drinking out of a Chinese food take-out box!)

This weekend I also hit up Hotel Monteleone's Carousel Piano Bar & Lounge. Wow. My favorite place in the city thus far. Be not deceived, there really is no truly classy place in the NO. lol. As posh as the hotel's website looks, as well it's featured bar & lounge, the drunkards stumble in there in all types of get ups. Why? For it's famous rotating Carousel Bar. This thing is amazing. Not going to lie, it was a little complicated trying to hop on (or more than you'd think), but once on and adjusted to parts of the room moving and not others, it's great. A delightful musician hammers away on the ivories a yards back in the lounge area and it's easy to get caught up in the ambience and never want to leave. While you're in there, it's so hard to believe that the notoriously crazy Bourbon St is literally one block away...that is until a drunk middle aged couple comes in screaming with clothes falling off :/ Still, it manages to retain it's classiness (I think the jazzy lounge piano helps in this effort. Apparently, it's also a literary landmark - I see why!

The remainder of the night was spent strolling down Bourbon for the first time. Oh the sights mine eyes did see! I'll just leave it at that!

Oil Spill, The Economist, N'awlins, and Me

So, this blog was originally supposed to be a motivation for me to keep up with the news and what's going on in the world around me, yet it has somehow transformed into something a bit more philosophical at times, or better yet, just random excuses about why I'm not blogging. Whatever. That's life. To be quite honest, I've been enamored with everything pertaining to starting med school and grad school, and making the big move down to New Orleans - I have truly loved every minute of it (aside from the packing). As a result, I have no idea what is going on in the world around me. Shame. I refuse to be the doctor/med student that is ignorant to the latest news due to overindulgence in the medical realm of life. Tunnel vision is great for achieving your goals and getting to where you want to be at in life. However, if it excludes other important things from your vision such as friends, family, and important developments, how beneficial, as opposed to detrimental, is it? I propose tunnel vision is good in the short-term, but bad in the long-run...that is if you desire to have any type of a social life. Well, since I do, I am slowly trying to incorporate real world developments into my daily life. It's a slow, arduous process, but I believe the effort and energy will pay off in the end.

That being said, I am very up-to-date on this mess of an oil spill. BP, you should hang your head low. Just what are you doing?!? All the lies and nondisclosure...come, come now...do better. BP's oil spill is about to do more damage to New Orleans and the Gulf Coast than Katrina did. Seriously. While not killing people like Katrina did, BP is killing people's incomes in an already depressed economy. Many of these people rely on fishing as their primary source of income. Well guess what? As much as seafood is the #1 staple down here, these items are now being imported in. People who have already invested loads of money for the shrimping and other fishing seasons, are now out of that money since their supply is now dead/unusable. On the end of BP there have been no developments save for increased knowledge on how bad this really is. Our ecosystem is about to be devastated, the effects of which probably won't fully be felt for a few years. And what happens when hurricane season hits full force? That oil is about to be spread even further. I heard talks of someone proposing burning off the oil...riiight, because that's what our ecosystem needs... [insert side eye]. This is the main news story I've been keeping up with and it is just depressing.

On a related note, under the tutelage of a good friend, I have gone ahead an acquired a recent issue of The Economist (ummm, readers beware, one issue is like 7 bucks and only covers 1 week...in other words, it's expensive). Anywho, the purpose of reading The Economist is two-fold. First, it truly covers a wealth of topics both nationally and internationally, and thus, will serve to broaden my knowledge in foreign affairs, economics, and politics. If you know me, you know I'm a closeted nerd who just loves acquiring more knowledge. We know the average human uses ~10% of their brain power (or so we've been told in school...wouldn't be surprised if this was an educated lie to get us to study more), but I'm trying to up that percentage. Plus, I like to be able to talk to a random person on the street about anything. Since I know where my weaker areas are, it makes perfect sense to target those now. My second reason is to better pick up a white boy. Yes, I said it. I was talking to this same friend who made the recommendation, and she said how she's been over black guys for a while (even though she's still dated a few here and there) and she was talking about how she's perfecting the art of picking up a good white guy. She's like, " what you need to do is go to some fairly high foot trafficked area, grab yourself an issue of The Economist and maybe a Vitamin Water, and sit and read. Make sure you don't have headphones or sunglasses on, and slowly scan your surroundings every now and then. When you find one you want, briefly make eye contact, smile a little, and go back to reading. They will come." lol - this girl has a game plan! She has other strategies too, but this one seemed the easiest for me to start with. Granted, now that I'm down South, I don't see many types that look like they'd be into The Economist, but let me know judge a book by the cover. Even if Southerners innately look simpler, a few might surprise me.

You know, people hate on Southerners, but I think they're onto something. They definitely know how to enjoy life and put an emphasis on spending time with people - the same time that we see as such a rare commodity up North is amply doled out down here. Even though I can't really indulge in eating or drinking, I absolutely love Love LOVE New Orleans! Honestly, if I can adapt to the heat and humidity, and survive the bugs and hurricanes, I might never leave - dead serious. Come visit!

Packing Woes…

I’ve actually had a lot to blog about in recent times, BUT packing has literally consumed my life! Ugh. It’s high on my list of least favorite activities…or better yet – activities that pain me. Goodness, I don’t think I know one person who likes packing. I swear, if I can afford it, the next move I make will involve professional movers, because this crap is for the birds. I remember, I thought I was being slick by starting to pack my things up a few months ago – FALSE! True, I moved a lot of my big furniture into storage, which helped clear out the house, but I grew tired of packing within the first two hours and quit, thereby defeating the purpose.

It was a good look slowly packing up my desk and books and such in Banker’s Boxes (my new favorite moving supply!). Let’s pause a second and give respect where respect is due. Banker’s Boxes are what’s up, if you didn’t know. One, I have a slight OCD-like complex when it comes to organization…as in, highly organized things make me feel very good. I love Banker’s Boxes because they’re small with hand holes, so I could load up a bunch of heavy books in each and not worry about not being able to carry them like I do for larger moving boxes. With a little creativity, I can easily fit about 7 in the trunk of my car, freeing up more space in the back seat (though, I still need to load my car for tomorrow, so things might change (as I’m sitting here typing, I’m starting to think they might do better stacked in the back seat…hmmm…).

Anywho, as much as Banker’s Boxes have simplified my move, I still hate it.

What is it about packing that so upsets and irritates the human spirit? The most obvious annoyance is the monotonous activity that comprises packing. Usually, you start with a respectably organized area, create chaos so that you can sort thru things, and then sit and fold and wrap items for hours. So, not only is it repetitive, but also, you have to make things messy in order to accomplish your goal.

Next on the list, or at least on my list, is the decreased view of self that accompanies the process. Let me explain. If you've read some of my earlier posts, particularly those pertaining to minimalism, you'd know that I have consciously been working towards moving to a more minimalist lifestyle. Simply put, the act of packing slaps me in the face with how far away I am from a minimalist lifestyle. Like really, how do I have this much stuff? And why can't I follow my own rule of "if I haven't used or seen it in the past year, it's time to throw is away"??? Yes, when I pause and reflect, I see how pitiful I look drowning in a room full of stuff I hardly ever utilize...and then I feel foolish...and then I feel a little less good about myself.

Ah well. I finally packed up and made the long drive down to New Orleans! I'm staying with a mentee of mine from undergrad who's here for Law School, and I'll be moving into my summer sublet on Sunday! Since I'll be doing my own apartment shopping for a late July move, I think I might spend the next few weeks just living out of boxes...I'm not really trying to unpack only to have to turn around an re-pack.

Random Aside: How come all those packing commercials and ads always show the people looking so happy with big Cheshire cat grins plastered to their faces while I always look distressed???