Daddy's Home

As I roam around in my car letting the latest jams blast through my speakers, up and out through my open windows, and drift into the flowing warm air of an abnormally hot summer, "Daddy's Home" by Usher repeatedly (and annoyingly) comes on every station's play list. Personally, I'm not a fan - I think he peaked with Confessions. Like, he went too hard on that whole album...to the point where I really don't see how he can top it. Add on the fact that he's seemed to take a cue from the success of Confessions by repetitively abusing his muse - i.e. let me find a woman, fall in love, have it all get messed up, and write an album surrounding it. Usher Raymond, fyi - while your listeners might not necessarily be the sharpest tools in the box, as a collective, any fool can see through that sub par "art" you're putting out. Your abs are no longer good enough to attract all your previously young fans - you know, the young ones you had gawking and flocking over you back when you were a young one. Quite a few of my twitter followers have been tweeting about how they wish a few artists would progress appropriately as they age. Guess who was atop that list? If you guessed Usher, give yourself a pat on the back (Mariah Carey was up there too)! Clearly, I'm no longer an Usher fan, but my lack of interest in Usher is not the focus of this post.

What I want to focus on is the string of questions that pop into my mind every time I hear this song:

• Do other races refer to each other as Daddy/Mommy?
• What is it about the Black community that promotes the referral to the Black man in a relationship as Daddy?
• Why don't we really ever hear Mommy?
• Does this all have something to do with the overabundant absence of father figures in Black communities?
• Are males (namely Black) preying upon the "Daddy issues" running rampant among women in the Black community?
• Are they trying to use these issues to usurp power and exert dominance in the relationship by having their women refer to them as "Daddy"?

I'd agree with the general notion that, as compared to other racial communities, that within the Black community, many Black women do not have a true or good Daddy of their own. I believe this absence of a good or stable father figure leaves many women of this demographic looking in all types of places for someone to fill that father figure. Now this is where "Daddy" has been inserted into relationships between men and women of this community. Note you don't really see relationships among other groups using this term outside of the context of when children are involved. But not for the Black community! We women want that father figure and somehow come to seek it in a spouse who should be an equal rather than some other member of our community. Can we not find someone to fill that role who is not intimately involved with us? Nope. We resort to calling our significant others, the ones who are supposed to be the other half of our give and take relationship, "Daddy." Yes, they normally do assume the role of protector and provider in the relationship, while we do assume roles usually associated with caring for things and planning out. Both sides are needed, yet, on some level, it has been made almost a given or something natural to do (i.e. calling your current mate "daddy"), even though we know on some level, there are certain connotations associated with that term (i.e. a submissive role for the person using the term). Hmm...

Now artists playing upon these issues...smh

And let's be real...Is Daddy really home? Nah. Well, at least not for long - just look at Usher's track record. At the end of the day, most of these relationships are bound to fail, resulting in another "Daddy" leaving yet another Black woman to fend for herself, leading to even more heartbreak, and more issues revolving around trust and expectations for "the Black man." Quietly, we know many of these "Daddies" run off to some non-Black girl, so...wait - why am I even discussing this? lol. Whatever, Black men really have come to annoy me more and more with each passing day. Clearly it's not a term I use or can picture myself using (again, unless we have children - then that's a little different). If you catch me calling a boyfriend "Daddy" I hereby give you permission to smack me upside the head!