Resolutions Update

As part of my New Years’ Resolution this year, I pledged to lead a more minimalistic life. Seems simple enough, right? Cut back on excess in all areas and live happily with what you have. In doing so, I figured I would have increased amount of time to devote to old leisurely activities such as reading and piano. But then, as always, this simple process became unnecessarily complicated. I start thinking about what I’m ready to toss out, a process I actually get excited about – I love de-cluttering! However, then I start debating what to keep and what to toss. Seems simple, but in a minimalistic life, the few things left are highly representative of you. Yes, you possessed them all along, but now they stand out in stark contrast to the large amount of space you've acquired and really speak to who you are. Puts a bit of a damper on the happy-go-lucky throwing unimportant things away task when you feel pressured to carefully chose what you’re going to let represent you.

Then came the debate of "How far do I take it???" Part of me wanted to go down to the bare necessities. I’m talking about pants and a t-shirt all day, every day. At one point, I even wanted to take it to wearing either a white or a black tee every day, and khakis or jeans with plain shoes. I wanted to see how content I could be in my own skin with the bare essentials clothing me…no sparkling designs, or flashy earrings or shoes, or big bags – just me, as I am. Which then lead me to think that perhaps I need to do some research on minimalism. Maybe find an autobiography of some minimalistic revolutionary leader or the basic principles and philosophies behind minimalism. Then I thought – to be going minimalist, you are doing too much. This should not be some harried task, but rather a pleasured, effortless act exposing my more of soul to the everyday world - when you look this way, you see ME, not my material stuff.

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, I started cutting back little and little in different areas. First, I started minimizing time spent in front of the TV, or on the MacBook, or playing with technology in general. This transition was eased by an increased workload. Then I went on to no purchasing of unnecessary items that are not essential to life. I must say, I have done rather well in the “No Shopping” department. I did buy a pair of silver-studded booties from Macy's, HOWEVER, I purchased them with a gift card I received for Christmas. Plus, black is the most basic color you can get, right? And, ideally, I would love to be at a point where I open my closest and I have very simple choices facing me of what to wear, not a million choices for what to cover each part of my body with. However, at the same time, I think I'm way too creative of a person to ever live like that contently for an extended period of time. Shoot, I think I nearly went crazy for that decade I spent in uniforms. I did everything I could to add my own little twist to the monotony of life at there.

This is the way a friend put it… “…the way I see it, I don't want anything I deem unnecessary or excessive or just not special to me in whatever way I require, BUT I do want to have my creative enjoyment…I want to have enough things but only ones that I really like and value…to keep finding/purchasing things above a certain par of being worthwhile to me and keep ridding myself of unnecessary things…that way I guess my inventory would stay about the same but be much more effective.”

I think that perfectly summarizes where I want to be in this journey toward minimalism...at least for now. I think I'm going to make some big cuts as I continue this moving process. Slight tangent: I am most likely moving come May, so I went ahead and rented a Public Storage unit so that I can start slowly moving out of this house, rather than having to do one big rushed move. Personally, I think it's a genius idea! And, I'm going to use this slow move to kill two birds with one stone: 1) greatly decrease the anxiety and stress of moving by spreading it out over many weeks and 2) use it to cut my accumulation of "stuff" at least in half. Wish me luck!

Bye-bye '08

So, I've been a bit m.i.a. during the end of the semester, but I must say the hard work paid off. You see, I don't mind being a hermit, as long as I reap the rewards...and I did, yay to all A's!!!

Now, it is time for me to sit and reflect on '08 and prepare for '09. Personally, I found 2008 to be a great year. If I had to give it a title, I think I would name it "The Preparatory Year." It was the first year I lived completely on my own - and I survived! I studied for the MCATs and started the year off by killing those :) I applied to the program I am in now and am on the road to obtaining that MD. I am spiritually back on track, which I found has helped all other areas of my life line up. I didn't fall in love or anything along those lines, but in every other area I feel that I am on the right track and am ready to face any challenge - both academically and personally.

Have you ever had that reassuring feeling that you are exactly where God wants you to be at a particular point in your life? Well, that is the feeling I have had most of this year, and I'm claiming that for 2009 as well. I truly feel that I have found my calling in life and I have done everything in my power to get me to where God wants to be; the rest is in His hands. I applied to medical school this year on what some people might call a whim (kind of how I applied to Duke for undergrad...lol, I notice a trend). Technically, it would have been a more stable, predictable process (and more in my favor) if I had waited to complete the program and then applied this upcoming summer. Prompted by what I feel was nudge from God, I applied this year - possibly a year early, while simultaneously a few months late in the application cycle, yet somehow right on time. When God says GO!, who am I to say NO!?!? I do believe that He will shut the doors to institutions He does not want me at and will open the doors where He wants me to be. At this point, it is my job to sit back and have faith that He will keep His promise - which He always does! Talk about a reassuring feeling :)

I am not one for silly, simple resolutions, however I have thought of one that I believe will solidify my segue into adulthood.

...When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things... I Cor. 13:11

So for 2009, I am officially putting all childish things behind me (however, I would like to retain a childlike heart - difficult, I know). Whether that be childish habits, certain slips of the tongue, or even interacting with certain people, they are all now behind me - I leave them all in 2008. I do not want to be so rash as to say If you're not for me, you are against me, however, if you are restraining me or pulling me back towards childish activities and not pushing me forward into maturity and into the destiny I am called for then...BYE-BYE! (and yall know while it is not hard for me to cut people out of my life, inanimate objects tend to be more difficult) I am tired of the monotony of the old. I need either completely new things or things that will cause me to take on new perspectives and that will stretch me to new lengths.

It's funny, I am only 23 years old and I already feel the clock of life aggressively ticking down. I feel the nipping at my heels of the Hurry up and do something big already! I am not really sure if other young people my age feel this way as well, but somehow I doubt it. And in some ways, it puts me in a lonely place. Sometimes I find it an awkward place to be in when my peers are running around enjoying the here and now and I am out with them trying not to zone off and enter the realm where I sit and question how this is preparing me to be a leader or a revolutionary. And I do want to be a revolutionary in the field of medicine. I am not sure how yet, but I do feel a calling to do something BIG in that field - to shake some things up and do something new. But, this is turning into somewhat of a depressing tangent that I am not about to indulge - at least not on this post.

So, to all who might read this, I wish you well. I hope 2008 has blessed you in some way and I pray that 2009 will be at least equally as kind.