Friday, May 7, 2010

Fendora...Mi amora!!


So, I have this newfound obsession with finding the right one or two fendora hats for spring, summer, and fall down South. I've always been in love with hats in general, but I've grown particularly found of these hats in recent years, especially the straw ones...they really remind me of the bliss of summer. Everytime I see one, I picture myself chilling beachside, enjoying the ocean breeze in some linen pants with a nice cold drink in my hand (vivid imagination, I know).

My quest is on! Especially with this relocation to New Orleans, I've realized how limited my wardrobe is in terms of cooler outfits. In sum, I have a very stereotypical Northern closet - winter hats, scarves, an overabundance of dark colored and heavier weighted attire. I am low on the capris, shorts, skirts, dresses, and light colored clothing. Also, I'm thinking it would be beneficial to block those oppressive sun rays beating down on my head with a nice lightweight hat or two.

I found this lovely Fendora hat at Arden B that I'm thinking of pruchasing. Thing is, I also want a typical, beige tan one that scream summer! Luckily, Fendoras are making a strong comeback in fashion, so my search shouldn't be too difficult.

Wish me luck! And, of course, I welcome any leads you might have :) Not many of my posts will be pertaining to fashion, as I consider it something realitively low on my list or priorities in my life development. However, I am a BIG accessories girl! Shoes, bags, scarves, hats, jewlery, headbddans - if they're on the list, I have a slight obsession with them...exciting pieces do make me tingle from head-to-toe ;)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Arizona Strikes Again...

The latest legal developments out of Arizona are marginally constitutional, in my opinion. I agree with the first half of the legislation, declaring illegal immigrants well, illegal. However, I think it is dangerous to legally empower law enforcement to demand identification for persons they “suspect” of being here illegally. I love (re: hate) how the Arizona state legislature acts as if racial profile does not already exist and has not existed probably since the beginning of law enforcement. We all know how this is about to play out. How exactly does one “suspect” some is illegally in the US? Is it by the way they look? The way they speak? The way they carry themselves? Something tells me that, simply put, the more ethnic you look, the greater jeopardy you will find yourself in of being suspect, while the more “Americanized” (re: White) you look, the safer you’ll be. Sad, but true. Adjust your wardrobe, hair, and speech accordingly.

My guess is that very shortly, Latinos in Arizona are going to face daily accosting by the police, thereby increasing the anger and frustration amongst this community. How would like to be questioned at whim about whether you “belong” here? I tell you what, as someone who attended a university where minority students were repeatedly racially profiled on-campus by police (i.e. forced to show their school ID to prove they “belonged”) I can tell you how horrible of an experience that is. It is degrading and frustrating. It leads to distrust and anger. No one, save for the people doing it, likes when authorities abuse their power. No one enjoys being perceived as an outcast. Granted, some members of this community are illegally here, are aiding in the draining of our tax dollars, and are “taking” jobs, but I emphasize this is SOME, not ALL. If we want to crunch down on immigration, let’s up border security let’s thoroughly check all documents when hiring people for jobs…oh wait, that’s right, people try to skimp on paying what they should for services and resort to hiring daily hands for manual labor, meaning they don’t check said documents. I’m digressing.

My point is that things in this area are about to escalate rapidly and probably explosively. Think about it. One of the main sentiments driving this new legislation is the increased crime rate that has correlated with the increase in illegal immigrants. And I’m sure that some are contributing to this. However, I guarantee that regardless of the percent of the Latino community involved in these crime stats, as soon as racial profiling increases, these individuals are going to respond in violence. I really wouldn’t be surprised if there were riots reminiscent of the LA Riots sparked by the Rodney King beating. Might be a bit of a stretch, but as I said, I really wouldn’t be surprised.

Personally, I don’t see this legislation holding up. There are already protests springing up throughout the country, as well as statements being made against this move by government officials. It’s kind of nice to see my fellow Americans uniting against this very un-American (yet, typically American) act. I mean, we’re a country that prides itself on its history of immigration and working hard to make something of oneself, yet we also know our nation has a history of people working hard to get theirs and then doing everything in their power not share the wealth (i.e. allow other people to work hard and reap the benefits). Nothing at this point surprises me…not even this legislation.

Let it be known, I am adamantly against illegal immigration, especially in these rough economic times. [disclaimer: I am about to sound rather Republican for a minute] Quite frankly, we do not have enough to go around for our own, let alone people that illegally sneak over here. On the one hand, it’s kind of noble that some would risk their lives to try to provide a better life for their families, however, it’s still wrong. There’s a reason it’s illegal, and just because you succeed at coming over her and establishing yourself, even serving for our country, doesn’t mean it was right in the first place. This might sound cold, but quite frankly, I don’t care. And stop trying to pop babies out in hopes that it’ll help you secure permanent or extended residence in the States. Furthermore, as an African American who knows the history of “her people” and knows that historically, as crappy and underpaid as they were, we were at least able to secure bottom of the totem pole positions and try to work our way up like other cultures…just with a few more institutionalized obstacles. In the past two decades or so, I have seen those jobs handed over to new immigrants, many of whom are Latino American, and to be honest, it is disheartening and slightly infuriating. I commend the legacy of hard work in this community – they are willing to do whatever work is necessary to provide for their families, and that’s commendable. But there are people that are legally here, that would also be willing to work these same menial jobs, that are not being given the opportunity because employers know they can hire illegals for cheaper to do the same work under the table. Where are we supposed to go? What are we supposed to do? Illegals are taking jobs that legal residents deserve and are using up a decent share of our tax money, and yes, this is an issue that annoys me, BUT Arizona, this is not the way to address these issues. I was taken aback by this latest news, but then a friend pointed out that it’s the home of John Mccain – ‘nough said.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Daddy's Home

As I roam around in my car letting the latest jams blast through my speakers, up and out through my open windows, and drift into the flowing warm air of an abnormally hot summer, "Daddy's Home" by Usher repeatedly (and annoyingly) comes on every station's play list. Personally, I'm not a fan - I think he peaked with Confessions. Like, he went too hard on that whole album...to the point where I really don't see how he can top it. Add on the fact that he's seemed to take a cue from the success of Confessions by repetitively abusing his muse - i.e. let me find a woman, fall in love, have it all get messed up, and write an album surrounding it. Usher Raymond, fyi - while your listeners might not necessarily be the sharpest tools in the box, as a collective, any fool can see through that sub par "art" you're putting out. Your abs are no longer good enough to attract all your previously young fans - you know, the young ones you had gawking and flocking over you back when you were a young one. Quite a few of my twitter followers have been tweeting about how they wish a few artists would progress appropriately as they age. Guess who was atop that list? If you guessed Usher, give yourself a pat on the back (Mariah Carey was up there too)! Clearly, I'm no longer an Usher fan, but my lack of interest in Usher is not the focus of this post.

What I want to focus on is the string of questions that pop into my mind every time I hear this song:

  • Do other races refer to each other as Daddy/Mommy?
  • What is it about the Black community that promotes the referral to the Black man in a relationship as Daddy?
  • Why don't we really ever hear Mommy?
  • Does this all have something to do with the overabundant absence of father figures in Black communities?
  • Are males (namely Black) preying upon the "Daddy issues" running rampant among women in the Black community?
  • Are they trying to use these issues to usurp power and exert dominance in the relationship by having their women refer to them as "Daddy"?

I'd agree with the general notion that, as compared to other racial communities, that within the Black community, many Black women do not have a true or good Daddy of their own. I believe this absence of a good or stable father figure leaves many women of this demographic looking in all types of places for someone to fill that father figure. Now this is where "Daddy" has been inserted into relationships between men and women of this community. Note you don't really see relationships among other groups using this term outside of the context of when children are involved. But not for the Black community! We women want that father figure and somehow come to seek it in a spouse who should be an equal rather than some other member of our community. Can we not find someone to fill that role who is not intimately involved with us? Nope. We resort to calling our significant others, the ones who are supposed to be the other half of our give and take relationship, "Daddy." Yes, they normally do assume the role of protector and provider in the relationship, while we do assume roles usually associated with caring for things and planning out. Both sides are needed, yet, on some level, it has been made almost a given or something natural to do (i.e. calling your current mate "daddy"), even though we know on some level, there are certain connotations associated with that term (i.e. a submissive role for the person using the term). Hmm...

Now artists playing upon these issues...smh

And let's be real...Is Daddy really home? Nah. Well, at least not for long - just look at Usher's track record. At the end of the day, most of these relationships are bound to fail, resulting in another "Daddy" leaving yet another Black woman to fend for herself, leading to even more heartbreak, and more issues revolving around trust and expectations for "the Black man." Quietly, we know many of these "Daddies" run off to some non-Black girl, so...wait - why am I even discussing this? lol. Whatever, Black men really have come to annoy me more and more with each passing day. Clearly it's not a term I use or can picture myself using (again, unless we have children - then that's a little different). If you catch me calling a boyfriend "Daddy" I hereby give you permission to smack me upside the head!


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Bullying --> Death?

So, I'm sitting here watching AC360 (I'm a HUGE Anderson fan! Makes me feel alright about my greying condition, lol). But this topic of discussion right now is something that crushes my heart - children who are so cruelly bullied that they commit suicide.

I mean, it's come a long way since when I was a kid. Back then, bullying consisted of purposeful exclusion, maybe a little name calling, perhaps a mean prank phone call or something, but that was about it. I guess I was born at a unique time in the technological advancement where I saw the transition into the more rapid and easier forms of communication (i.e. texting, IMing, emailing, etc.). Even when the internet was just beginning to come into the home and AOL was the only real option of instant messaging, I recall people extending bullying or just meanness via internet. What once was restricted to school or to the playground, was now able to attack you in "safe places."

I liken it to the "Smoke Monster" on LOST (clearly, I'm also a huge fan of this). Originally, it was restricted by the pillars that kept it caged-in and unable to do harm outside of a defined area. Then, the pillars were turned off and it was allowed free-range to harm everyone on the island. Nowadays, nearly every student has a cell phone (or a side-kick, smh) and some type of IM account. Add in Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace (do people still use that?) and the opportunity for harassment is endless. Can you recall the awkwardness of middle school and high school? Granted, I think I had it alright...went to the same small school for a decade, fit in well and had a pretty good role among my friends and classmates. But even still, we all struggled gaining acceptance from our peers. And we all got teased at some point about something by someone...and we remember how much that hurt. If you make it through, which a few years ago I'd bet nearly everyone would because the bullying was never really that bad, surviving the bullying really made you a stronger, better, more compassionate person for it (or a bigger, badder person...depends on how you took it). Now, kids aren't making it through because it literally has the possibility of never ending.

No one likes torture (well, there are a select few that enjoy it, but we're not talking about them) and most people don't like going thru things alone. Where are the teachers and administrators? Apparently alongside the bullies, they too are having charges pressed against them. I say GOOD! They are grown. They went through all this themselves a few decades ago and they should intercede after a certain point. In addition, I've always been an advocate for addressing those that stand on the side and either laugh along or know better and do nothing. Not that they need to be punished, but clearly interventions are needed. AC360 has not one, but two different stories on tonight. I won't say that evil is prevailing, but it's doing alright at surviving and slowly spreading into deeper levels, and starting to affect younger and younger people.
.:All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing:. ...Edmund Burke...

As it stands, I do not want kids. lol. While I know my kids will be well-behaved, there's a sea of children out there with no guidance at home, no morals, no role models, and teachers that are afraid of the kids. I substitute teach at a Charter School - I see this daily and it truly saddens me. It hurts my heart to see our youth, our supposed future, not valuing life - not theirs and not their peers. As a result, they do senseless things without thinking of the consequences. They don't care if they hurt someone else, they don't see the value of helping others and have a very self-centered view of life. Even the threat of prison doesn't scare some of them. Shoot, even one of my kids at schools said he wants to go to prison when he grows up! Granted, he had some things confused and meant to say that if he keeps doing the things he does he knows that's where he'll be, but even still, he was alright with that possible reality. If these kids represent our future, what do you think this says about the face of the planet in 15-30 years?

I've said it hundreds of times, but I really do believe that the end of the world will come in our lifetime.

Monday, March 29, 2010

A Case of The Monday :(

I'm not going to say I've never had a Case of The Mondays before, but it has had to be years since I had my last one. I try to start my week out right on Sunday and carry that over into the the beginning of the workweek, using that positive momentum to push me forward, enabling me to complete the week strong. I'm usually not aching for Friday or dragging myself through Hump Day. All-in-all, I typically value each day of the week and can appreciate the small goals and challenges I must complete and overcome to pass successfully to the next day. However, today was not that day...

I'm not sure if it related to my ever disintegrating structure of a typical workweek or what, but I'm starting to lose a sense of purpose and that is pushing me closer to that edge. What I mean is that, simply put, I like structure - a lot. I like having a somewhat predictable routine, needing to wake up at roughly the same time everyday, having tasks that need to be completed so that either I can progress or that others might benefit, things like that. And unlike many I know, I value the workweek not only because it helps provide a sense of purpose, but also because it helps me value the weekend. However, in recent months, it has been quite some time since I had a "routine." My primary job consists of telecommuting and I irregularly received my work, so I have highly irregular hours and work days (typically for this job I work M, W, Th, Fri, Sat/Sun, at random hours of the day/night). My supposedly consistent job at Barnes and Noble is spiraling down the drain like the rest of the US economy, causing our store to take drastic measure and cost everyone's hours (and by everyone, I clearly am not including the hours of the 15 managers we have running around the store...excessive? yes!). And then catering and substitute teaching are touch and go. All summing up to a major lack of structure in my life. Which means that I am losing my sense of direction, motivation, and desire to actively live (i.e. be productive).

Today might have just been the straw that broke the camel's back. I woke up early (read: 7am) after going to bed late (read: 3am) to go to a doctor's appointment. Now, this was supposed to be just a quick eye exam so that my PCP could finish filling out forms I need completed for med school. How on Earth an eye exam turned into PPD shot 1 and a tetanus shot, I will never know. What I do know is 1) I have to pay for those with money I don't have and 2) my arm hurt all day. I was exhausted, so I came home and passed out until about 1pm. I woke to a still gloomy, overcast and drizzling, dreary day, which did not help to revitalize me.

I then ran to work to check out the week's schedule because I heard it had been changed. Come to find out, the evil Boss Woman cancelled a bunch of shifts for the week, including my one and only shift this week...meaning I don't go into work the following week, for which she has me scheduled during a time I am permanently unavailable. Pssh, I'm past the point of caring...I might just not show up. No call, no show = fired, this I know, BUT when you're repeatedly hardly scheduled to work, does that really make that big of a difference? Nah... Then, I had the misfortune of actually running into the woman. See, this Boss B is new, and hasn't really been introduced to anyone, but basically came in and cut people's hours, is highly unfavored, and her reputation precedes her. I now see why. I ran in to check the schedule, only to find a little group of my co-workers hovered around the schedule, confused and angry, talking to her about it. She then pauses, turns towards me, precedes to look me up and done like she's trying to evaluate me, and then rudely says something in this repulsed tone... Errr?!? Excuse me? Yall know I am not the one to offend and today was certainly not the day to push that button. I wanted to box that Boss B in the throat! Now, of course I'm not a violent person and would never actually do that, but...the thought did linger in my mind for a good minute. I'm almost impressed how quickly one person was able to turn a happy workplace into a depressive environment that people don't enjoy working in anymore. The change was literally overnight.

I leave there pissed that I now have ~14 days on my schedule without income and I am disturbed by my run-in with Boss B. I get home to find my first financial aid package in the mail. Apparently medical schools aren't big on providing financial aid? I'm broke, my EFC = 0, and yet somehow I'm expected to come up with the full amount not covered by Federal Loans (~$36K per year). Um...whaaaat?!? I'm hoping that it's just this one school that sucks in the financial aid department. I was recently at their Second Look and they more or less implied that they basically award everyone the same thing (i.e. nothing) and their students just sign the next 15-20+ years of their lives away to them. It's depressing to think I might be in debt until I'm in midlife...and people say doctors get paid too much - ha! Makes me consider taking an armed forces branch up on their offer to cover my medical education in exchange for some years of service...we'll see. I'm really hoping that it's just this school's weak point and that other institutions are stronger in this area.

So, we got shots/unexpected expenses, no income for 2 weeks right when I'm flying away for another Second Look, a slap in the face with the reality of the amount of debt I'm about to be buried alive in for the next two decades, and some crappy weather to boot. I don't think having to share a home with someone who telecommutes a minimum of 3 days a week and who apparently hates silence helps in the very least. Frustrated? Why yes, yes I am.

Just using the term "Case of The Mondays" makes me want to go and watch Office Space. Perhaps I will...Lord knows I could use a good pick-me-up!